I Say
by Poke-chan
Summary: He wasn't sure what he was thinking, but it just couldn't mean anything good for him. How could words mean so much more than they should?
1. Hmmm

A/N: So, I was talking to my friend on MSN. We cosplay, me being Kurogane and her the mage. Well, she said "hmmm" just after teasing me in the persona of Kurogane and Fai. And it gave me an Idea. Plus, we've read just about every half-decent fanfic and have become bored. So, this is for her, my mage.

**I Say**

Fai scooped noodles into his mouth sloppily, slurping maybe just a little more than he had to. They'd landed in yet another world where they used the devil's tool called chopsticks. He had gotten the hold of eating solid food, like dumplings and sushi, though he disliked that just as much as the eating utensils. Beside him Syaoran and Sakura ate slowly, but with much more success than the magician. Across the low table Kurogane had already finished and sat, watching. Fai glanced over at him, noticing a small glint of amusement twinkling in his eyes.

That meanie was enjoying this. Fai puffed out his cheek behind his bowl. He didn't seem to notice him watching, but the ninja had a way of noticing pretty much everything Fai did. It was impressive and bothersome and flattering, all at the same time. Just like the man himself.

The kids finished eating and excused themselves, saying they were going to go get some dessert that had been promised by the kind old lady that had given them rooms. Fai pouted visibly at the retreating backs of the two. He then glanced forlornly at his own, half-eaten meal. He be up all night trying to eat with these things.

"Finish your dinner," came the low rumble of Kurogane's voice.

Fai looked up at him. "But, Kuro-tan! Using these things is so hard!"

Ruby eyes rolled. "The kids did it. They are not that difficult. Five year olds in my world can do it."

Fai puffed out bother cheeks. "Well, that's in your world, Kuro-puu."

The man didn't respond. Fai let it go and turned back to his food and continued shoveling noodles into his mouth, none too neatly. For a second he thought he heard a disgusted groan, the one he got when he did something the other man considered rude or foolish. He was sure he'd been hearing things, though.

Until a large hand pulled his bowl away and another hand grabbed the hand that was holding the chopsticks. "For starters, you hold them like this," he explained as he rearranged Fai's fingers around the two pieces of wood. "And pinch." He guided the sticks down to the remaining noodles and pressed down on Fai's fingers so that the chopsticks clamped over them. He then lifted their hands and brought them to Fai's mouth.

Fai slurped up the last of his noodles and smiled up and the man behind him. "Yay, Kuro-sensei!"

He let go and pointed at the last bowl of food, some rice. "Now eat that."

Fai nodded and did just as Kurogane had instructed, except, when he went to grab the rice his chopsticks slid past each other and flung the rice at him and Kurogane. The taller man growled lowly as Fai simple blinked in surprise. He'd just been attacked by his dinner. No fair.

"Don't grip so hard, mage," he corrected. "It's not going to run away."

So, he tried again. And again and again. Too hard, not enough pressure, it was starting to get on his nerves. He huffed and opted to resume his previous eating habits. He lifted the bowl to his mouth and pushed rice into his mouth, chewed, swallowed, and repeated.

It seemed that Kurogane had had enough as well, because he didn't correct him this time. He just sat and watched while the blonde finished eating.

"All done!" he cheered as he set his bowl down and all but threw his chopsticks. "Dessert time!" A smirk appeared of the dark-haired man's face at this. "What?" asked Fai, a little wary.

"How are you going to eat your treat if you can't use those?"

Fai's face fell into one of honest and comical horror. "No!" he cried dramatically. He fell into Kurogane's lap and pretended to sob, and might actually have been on some level.

He let it carry on for a few minutes before he tapped the wizard on the shoulder. Blue eyes peeked up at his through bangs, absolutely miserable looking. "I was kidding mage, the crapes you eat with your hands."

It took a minute to sink in. Fai had just been pranked by Kurogane. Was the world going to end? "So, I don't need those evil things?" he said, eyes lighting up a bit.

He smirked at the other. "No, you don't need them."

Fai cheered and hugged him before jumping up. He was about to run after Syaoran and Sakura when he froze mid-step and looked over at the ninja. "Hmmm," he said with a soy look.

Kurogane noticed all too much. "What 'hmm'?"

Fai smiled and batted his eyes. "Oh, nothing."

Kurogane stood and walked up next to him, close enough to where they could feel the heat of the other. "That hmmm never bodes well for me," he said darkly and he bent lower to make complete eye contact.

Fai grin widened. His eye lids fluttered half closed and he stepped even closer. "I have no idea what you are talking about, Kuro-sama," he cooed before spinning around and walking away, hips swishing just a little.

**TBC… ?**

A/N: Well, there. Short but I kind of like it. Hey, if it gets enough of a feedback I might do more. Me and my friend have so many little lines for these two. So review!

Ja ne!


	2. Manly Sewing

A/N: Well, look at that, people liked that little blurb I wrote. Okay, if you guys want more who am I to say no? But, be warned, these will be short (2-3 pages) and not quite my best work. Everyone will be as in character as I can possibly manage, which seems pretty well, and all that good stuff. I'll do my best to keep canon. Yes, fellow KuroFai fans, that means I keep it subtext. Sorry it might change but not as of now. Alright, I've babbled on long enough; enjoy mine and WhisperoftheNight's next inside joke.

**I Say**

Kurogane sighed as he picked through the small pile of clothes. Through their journey the group's clothing had become worn and torn due to the various elements and adventures they all had. And, seeing as they were in a constant state of moving around, they had no time to get decent enough jobs to pay for mending. Luckily for them, however, Kurogane was a man of many talents.

He lifted the kid's pants and stuck a thumb through the coin sized hole in his inner thigh and a hand through the gash running down his left calf. He set them aside and grabbed the princess' shirt. The sleeve had been all but torn off when she'd snagged herself on a particularly stubborn branch. He laid it down on the foot of his bed before grabbing for the mages garments. Somehow the blonde had torn the seam of his pants from thigh to ankle and, while trying to free the princess, he'd also gotten caught on the branch, resulting in a torn sleeve and a cut on his back.

Kurogane thanked his lucky starts that the clothing he was wearing were armor and pants made of very tough, protective material. This made it so he had much fewer rips and tears. It was a shame that the others were more than making up for it though.

He sighed once more as he grabbed the needle and thread they'd been given by a kind older couple. He started with the kid's. It didn't take long to patch up the hole but the rip running down his leg was a bit more challenging. It zigzagged and went at all sorts of angles. He had to repeatedly stop and start again just to get it done in a decent manner.

The princess' was simple, just reattach along the seams and try to make it look normal. When he was done one could hardly tell.

The magician's clothes were not difficult, just annoying. There was so much to sew. The leg, the sleeve, and he found another hole in the rear, just below where Fai's ass sat in his tight pants. All together it was a long, tedious, and distracting process. One he did not care to repeat, soon or often.

Just as he was finishing up said wizard walked into the room, at no fault seeing as they were once gain sharing. Some days he wondered why it was that they always gave Syaoran his own room and forced the two of them together. Because he knew it wasn't the kid's doing.

"What mage?" Kurogane asked as he closed the door. The ninja's eyes never left his task, lest he mess up at the very end.

He could feel that grin on the other's face. That evil, conniving, up-to-no-good smile. The one where his mouth would stretch impossibly wide over white teeth and his blue eyes would squint, but not quite close. Nothing ever ended well when that look was involved. He finished the last stitch and put everything away in a place the other man wouldn't get at easily if Kurogane wasn't dead in a gutter.

"Oh," he said innocently. "I was just wondering what you were up to, Kuro-puu." He glanced at the pile of freshly mended clothes. "Hyuu," he sounded, seemingly impressed. "I had no idea Kuro-rin could sew!"

With every word the mage crept ever closer, the grin never waning. Kurogane kept his eyes on his companion. He had no idea what he was up to, but he wasn't about to be the butt of some joke. "Yeah, who else is going to keep fixing your guys' clothing?"

Fai sat next to him on the bed. He glanced up at the ceiling. "Who would have guessed Kuro-wanwan had a feminine side!"

All he could manage to choke out was a disgusted grunt of disbelief. Fai turned his "winning" smile, the one that made girls they met swoon and men they came across soften like warm butter, on him. "What, I'm wrong?"

"Sewing is plenty manly!" he burst. "To be able to take care of yourself like a man you have to know who to do all sorts of things! A warrior needs to be able to mend worn outfits on his own. Its perfectly masculine!"

Fai appeared to be ignoring him. "Maybe you should be Mommy and I'll be Daddy," he pondered aloud.

"Like hell!"

And here it was, the outcome and result of that look. "So, Kuro-papa likes being the Daddy?"

Kurogane had nothing to say to the blonde. Because anything he would have said would have dug his hole deeper than it already was. He just glared at the magician before grabbed the fixed up clothing and threw them at his stupid smiling face. "Go give those to the kids."

**Oshimai**

A/N: What more can I say? I sew, I'm Kurogane in our cosplay group, I made my friend's Fai/pimp coat while she was around. These are the jokes that were born. Review if you want to see more. And, if you guys have any little clips you'd like to see me put up let me know in your review! We'll be getting some starring Syaoran and Sakura eventually… I guess.


	3. Comeback

A/N: Hello! Glad to see people like these! This new chapter was born from a comic I drew of Fai reading Twilight. I don't have it up yet, but I will eventually. There is no reference to Twilight here and the book he reads is not it. It's just a book. I don't have much else to say other than: Review, read, enjoy, stay tuned! So, off we go!

**_I Say_**

Fai skipped merrily to his room. It had been a long, hard, and dangerous search but he'd finally found a book he could read. He loved reading. It was so much fun and relaxing. You could learn so much from any kind of book.

He snuggled down into his bed and opened the book, planning to spend all night reading. And he did.

The next morning he was finished, it wasn't that long of a book. He liked it. It was different and well written, funny, sad, and everything in between. He was so enthralled with it that he rushed off to share it. There was only one person in the house though. And it was Kurogane. The kids were somewhere in the bazaar shopping for food.

It wasn't like he cared if it was Kurogane; it just meant he'd have to try a little harder to get an appropriate reaction.

The magician found the ninja in the sitting room, flipping though a magazine of some sort. Smiling, Fai launched himself at the dark-haired man with a joyful squeal.

"Kuro-wanta! You _have_ to read this book! Even you would like it! I'm sure!"

Kurogane pushed him off and stood up, keeping his eyes trained on the blonde. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Fai held up the novel. "This! I found a book and I read it and it is so very good! I thought I'd share it with you!"

Kurogane sighed. "My Gods you are so thick!"

Fai blinked in confusion. This was a strange reaction to get. He hadn't really even gotten an answer, which was a middle ground and Kurogane was never one for middle ground as long as Fai had known him. How odd.

Kurogane waited for him to understand, and when the taller man realized it wasn't going to happen he continued. "We don't read the same language, idiot!"

Fai's face fell into a silent "Oh!" as it dawned on him.

He froze, suddenly deep in thought as Kurogane watched him warily. "I'll have to buy you a language book…" he answered with a smile after a minute, thinking himself quite cleaver. He always had an answer.

Kurogane felt like hitting something at that point. How dense could one person be? He knew Fai was an extreme case, but this was maddening. "I wouldn't be able to read that either."

Fai made to open his mouth and retort, but found he had nothing to say. Kurogane was right. And Fai, the ever quick witted, was without a comeback. He should just go find another book to read before he made a fool of himself.

**Oshimai**

A/N: Heh, shortest one yet. Oh well, you'll live. I'll get around to the next chapter at some point. Have fun! And review please! (other ideas are welcome)


	4. Walking in on a Smile

A/N: Hello, again! I'm back with a new inside joke for you guys! This came about just a few minutes ago while we were sitting at the cafeteria in college, watching AMVs. As usual, enjoy.

**I Say**

Some people may say that Kurogane was not a happy man. They might say that he never smiled or joked or laughed. Even more might say he was a bit of a jerk. These people no longer had the ability to say anything anymore.

But, truth was – sure, he didn't smile as much as other people and he was usually insulting or threatening someone, but he wasn't an unhappy person. In fact, if he was willing to admit it, he would say he actually was having a pretty good time most of the time. Not that anybody could ever get him to admit it.

Ever.

Currently, he was enjoying some alone time, seeing as the mage had taken the kids out to look for the feather. The world they were in was a non-violent, peace-loving, boring place. Five minutes outside of their temporary house would most likely drive the man insane. So, he stayed indoors for the safety of all.

It was a while before they came back, empty handed. The kids went off to plan where they would search in the morning, taking Mokona with them. Fai pranced off into his and Kurogane's room, jumping onto the bed, and by effect, Kurogane.

"Ahh! What the hell, mage! Get off!" he shouted, trying his hardest to fling the lithe man on to the floor. The tussled around, shouting and forgetting that there were young ears in the house as well.

-_-_-_-_-

Another few thuds sounded from the next room over as muffled shouts followed. It sounded all too like when his Highness and the High Priest would spend nights together in Clow. And by the look on her face, Sakura had those memories back as well.

"Should we go check on them? Make sure they're okay?" she asked, not quiet believing that their two adult counterparts were doing what her brother and his lifelong friend did.

Syaoran gulped a little. He was sure they weren't doing _that…_ he was positive. He nodded. "I'll go check. You know how Kurogane-san doesn't like people going into his room unannounced and stuff. Stay here, I'll be right back."

He stood and made his way across the hall. He stood at the door, listening. None of the sounds changed and he could now hear what they were shouting. Kurogane was cursing and shouting at Fai, not unlike what he usually yelled. Fai was screaming nonsense and calling Kurogane his usual names, his voice happy sounding. But they surely weren't doing that.

He knocked softly and waited. When he didn't get a response he knocked again. Still, no one answered him. He had to find out what was going on, he'd told Sakura he would. And so, he would.

Slowly, he pushed open the door, peering in with his good eye. He couldn't see either man, but he could still hear them, loud and clear. He ventured further into the room, crawling on his hands and knees. He saw something move on the other side of the bed. He stood to climb on top of it and look over the edge, but it was at that time things got quiet.

Just as he stood Kurogane also got to his feet and looked over to see Syaoran looking very surprised and shocked. Not just about him being caught, but at what the ninja looked like. On his face was a smile. And he only smiled when one of two things happened – either he'd killed something or Fai was receiving some kind of lesson or payback.

"W-where's Fai-san?" is what he said. What he was thinking was more along the lines of what's dead.

He expected Fai to pop up and laugh about Kurogane and him playing around but no one did. He was just met with Kurogane's red eyes glaring at him, telling him quite plainly to leave.

"Don't worry about it, kid. And you know you're not supposed to come in the room without telling me."

Syaoran bowed low. "Sorry, Kurogane-san! I'll be going now!" And away he went.

Fai sat up. "Wonder what he was thinking?" he smiled as he leaned on the bed, arms out in front of him.

"Who cares? He won't say anything, he's too respectful for that. Though, I'm not sure why he looked so shocked when I stood up…"

Fai's smile grew. "It's because Kuro-daddy was smiling and his little boy knows what makes his daddy smile. It's why he asked where I was."

Kurogane sat on the bed and tossed the blonde a confused look. "What makes me smile then?"

Fai leaned into his legs. "Violence, when Syaoran-kun does something right in his training, and me."

Kurogane blinked. "You?"

"I don't get it either, Kuro-tan," he said off-handedly. "But you make me smile. Weird, huh?"

**Oshimai**

A/N: Haha, two for one deal here. The classic "Syaoran walking in on Kurogane and Fai getting it on" and our "Kurogane only ever smiles when Fai or killing something is involved" inside joke. We were watching a video by OskakaKitty on youtube and there were a lot of smiles from Kurogane. We thought about where those smiles came from. It was either when he was killing someone or talking to Fai. Hmm…


	5. Heels

A/N: Hello dear readers! Enjoy this so far? … Good! And if not, why are you here? Well, here's the next installment of our sick and twisted jokes. Keep on enjoying! And don't forget to review!

**I Say**

Well, this sucked. It just plain, flat out sucked! Not to mention how unfair it was! His boots were lost! And he had no way to find them before they were to move out for the day. He didn't want to be left behind.

Fai ran around the house, barefoot, looking for, if no his boots, then something to wear in their stead. They were sharing the house in this world with a very kind lady who was out most of the time. Maybe she had something for him to borrow for the day.

He slipped into her bedroom as he heard Syaoran calling for him and Kurogane. They were leaving soon. He all but dove into her closet, shifting through shoe after shoe, looking for matches at first, then shoes that looked nice and went with his outfit. He might be borrowing a woman's shoes, but he would not walk around looking like a fool who didn't know how to match.

But there were so many! He just couldn't choose!

-_-_-_-_-

Syaoran glanced at the clock again. Fai was taking a very long time and they were late as it was. What was the magician doing? He looked over at Kurogane, eyes pleading. He knew that the two of them had a certain amount of sway where the other was concerned.

Rolling his eyes he stood and walked up the stairs to fetch their last group member. Sakura and Syaoran glanced at each other before following the ninja. They check his room first. It was empty.

"Fai-san?" Sakura called softly. They closed the door and moved on to the next room, Sakura and Mokona's.

No one was in there either. Closing the door Kurogane saw the kids beginning to worry. He swore, if that mage was hurt he would kill him. And if he was fine and dandy, just off screwing around he'd hurt him. Either way, things would result in violence towards the lithe man.

They looked around Syaoran's room before accepting the fact that he wasn't there either. They searched the rest of the house until they were at the door of the only room they hadn't yet searched. Kurogane looked over at the kids, they were hesitant to go into their host's bedroom. He grabbed the handle and flung the door open. He didn't care.

What they saw had them all shocked and confused.

-_-_-_-_-

Fai twisted his leg so he had a full view of his foot at all angles. He'd found a nice looking pair of black boots. The thing was… they had heels at least an inch tall. He had decided to put them on and see if they worked. And oh did they!

He loved the heels! He might ask if he could keep them after apologizing for borrowing them. He continued posing in front of the mirror, losing track of time. He was brought back to reality when his three companions busted through the door looking for him and saw him mid pose as he stood with his rear to the mirror, enjoying the effects of the heels on that part of his body.

Everyone froze as he looked back at them, holding his position the entire time. "Oh, hi! Is it time to leave?"

Kurogane blinked in surprise a few times. "I don't know why you still manage to do things that I don't expect…" he muttered.

Syaoran closed his gaping mouth, as it had fallen open at the sight before him, turned around, and began walking away. Poor dear was probably out to wash his brain of what had just happened.

Sakura just looked perplexed as she nodded and told Fai that they were late getting started and that they had been looking for him for some time.

Fai gasped as he started moving. "I'm sorry Sakura-chan! We'll have to get moving if we want to catch up!"

They moved out and never spoke of what had happened in the bedroom again. Though, Kurogane sometimes brought it up in privet when speaking to Fai.

**TBC…**

A/N: Okay, I'm guessing this needs some explaining. Cosplay. We needed his boos but the only pair we had at the time were boots with heels. So we went with it and made jokes all day. What fun it was! Here are the results. Hope you enjoyed! Review please!


End file.
